remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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