gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
