Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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