Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
