the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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