Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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