Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
