He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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