I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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