My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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