SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So many bounce houses so little time
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
