Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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