you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
