My balls are so social today.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
