I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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