Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
