So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
