I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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