STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
