the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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