Is it because I queefed?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
