After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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