I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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