I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
