check it out our google latitudes are spooning
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
