She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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