Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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