I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
COCAINE IS GR8
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
