This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
