You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Welp...herpes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
