awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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