I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
