what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
