I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
