There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Four minutes until I can fart!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
