how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
