I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
