mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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