Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
