yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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