They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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