glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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