3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
