could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
