Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
