It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
