There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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