Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
