Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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