Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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